Paint job mystery
Paranormal
The manager of Elston's trendy Central Icecream Agency arrived at work on Monday and plunged
straight into a mystery worthy of Roald Dahl. The rear wall of the building, near where Tom
Lichen parks his late model Toyota Camry, was an entirely different colour from that which
he last saw when he left the building after his Saturday morning shift.
"It was like being transported to another dimension," Tom told the Elston Gazette. "One minute
you have a wall done in a light pastel green suggestive of a creamy mint flavour - albeit a
little soiled and peeling - the next thing blue! What flavour could that represent anyway?"
When asked whether there was a chance that the landlord had arranged for the wall to be
painted over the weekend, Tom replied "It's possible. Anything's possible I guess."
Beer too cold
Lifestyle
Arthur "Artie" Smorth is not the complaining type. Like many Elston
old-timers, he's seen a lot of changes, but nothing much ruffles
his feathers. A laconic quip is about all Artie's going to give away,
and even that might cost you a beer or two. Unless, that is, it's a beer
that was pulled at the Oxhead Arms last Thursday at about 6:53 PM.
"A beer's a beer, and it's gotta be right," Artie says in his inimitable
way. The fact is that a junior temp worker had just come on shift
and inadvertently interfered with the thermostat. In a possible first
for Elston, patrons complained that the beer was actually
too cold.
"Hard to believe I'd ever hear meself sayin' this," Artie told the
Elston Gazette after the incident " I love a cold beer as much as the next bloke,
but that darned beer was colder than a man should have to drink."
Staff have been disciplined and new checks and balances have since
been put in place. "It's an incident we'd like to put behind us" said
the Arms' night manager.
Robot pests
Technology
Council authorities are increasingly concerned with the tendency of some
Elston domestic robot owners to simply turn them loose when they are overaged
or faulty. "It appears that some owners can't bear the thought of them going
to the recycler. They get quite attached" said an unnamed spokesperson.
However, these free-range bots, eager to please, end up pestering people on the
street and in shops. "Every morning on the way to the bus stop" said an elderly
local "this thing comes at me trying to buff my shoes. I don't want my shoes buffed.
I now have to go the long
way to avoid it." Local short-order cook Earl Diva complains that "there's this
one that keeps coming into my kitchen and cleaning up. It may sound good, but
you can't cook fast food when everything's put away all the time."