Pothole a disgrace
Council
"I don't know how long it's been there, but it's a
hazard," one local began. "If you don't walk around
it, you'll bump right into the barrier,"
said another, referring to the large hole in Elf Street,
central Elston. A third commentator told the Elston
Gazette "It's pretty creepy. Once I leant over the
barrier and saw these beady little eyes looking
up at me from the hole."
Titan disappointing
Space
A large contingent of Titan's Amber Plains settlement has
returned to Earth, saying their experience was "real boring".
"It sounded exciting initially," said one returned settler.
"When I'd say 'Hi, I'm going to Titan', chicks'd go wild."
But the reality was apparently far duller. "Mostly it's methane.
So much methane. Like a backpacker
hostel really," another disappointed settler complained.
Endless driveway
Property
Neighbours are up in arms over the driveway of Roger
and Judith Cleanmath, saying it "goes on forever".
"It's just incompatible with the look and feel of
our street," said one neighbour who wished to remain
anonymous.
However, a spokesperson for Judith Cleanmath told
the Gazette that "automotive access is an inalienable right".
Another neighbour, who also wishes to remain anonymous,
said "Who do they think they are anyway, with some long
fancy driveway, and where does it lead?" the
irate neighbour (who lives three doors south of the
Cleanmaths) rhetorically asked the Gazette.
Filling the gaps in local knowledge since 1933<< previous next >> Issue 8
When asked whether - while not strictly being a
local as she did not grow up in Elston but having such high
public recognition due to the mayoral connection
that she can be considered one in a de-facto sense -
playing to a 'home crowd' is perhaps less liberating than
it can be within the anonymity of an international audience, she
replied "sorta."